Finding My Happy

I’ve always been a crazy, annoying, happy girl, bubbly, positive, silver lining, bright side girl.  Sometimes I am a really great faker, sometimes I am so sad, so hurt, so mad, and I stuff it all away and hide it behind a brilliant smile.  I recently took a 1 week vacation away with the love of my life and our 2 incredible friends.  It was a simple Mexico getaway, not something crazy and life changing like climbing Kilimanjaro, lol, but it changed me.  It changed me in ways I never thought a simple vacation could.  I was able to have so much time to think and reflect.  I was able to look at my life and the direction I was headed and make some adjustments.  I was able to be brutally honest with myself, even when It hurt.  I was able to find my happy.

I look over to the left of this blog and I see this description “Isagenix Consultant, Mother, Wife, Entrepreneur”, and I’m wondering why did I only use these words to define me?  I am these things, but I am so much more.  I am a mother first, to 2 incredible boys who try my patience everyday and seconds later have me in stitches laughing.  I am a wife second, to this incredibly wonderful man that swept me off my feet when I was only 17.  We have had some rocky rough times, but at the age of 34 I can say without a doubt that I love him more today than I did 16 years ago!  Thirdly, I am an entrepreneur.  I have been a hairstylist for 16 years and now operate a salon out of my home.  Working for myself is so gratifying, I make my own hours, I take holidays when I want to, and I am present always for my children when they need me.  Lastly, I am partnered with Isagenix.  A health and wellness network marketing company.  I think this company has had a very profound effect on me.  I started out only wanting to use the Isagenix 30 day system because I was fat, unhealthy and feeling generally gross.  What I got was so much more than that.  I kind of tip toed into the idea of Network Marketing because it intrigued me, but it also scared me, mostly because there are so many misconceptions about this business platform.  I fully enjoyed receiving monetary reimbursements for sharing these products with my family and friends. At first my monthly order was free, and then it grew to my order being free and my hydro bill being paid and I thought that was really cool.  As an entrepreneur I can take vacation whenever I want to like I said, but I don’t get paid to do so.  Having a side income truly allows me to take vacation WHENEVER I WANT!  Here’s what else I took away from this company though,  PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT.  I began to find my happy while I found my body.  I began to meet these incredible people, people who challenged me, people who changed me, and people who embraced me and liked me just the way I was.  I started learning how to have a voice, I learned that I was enough.  I began learning what it was I truly want from this life, I began learning it was ok to want more, and I began to learn that I could shape my future and my families future just by helping everyone around me.

I have been growing and changing and learning for 3 years now and everyday something new gives me goosebumps.  What I learned while I was away in Mexico was that is ok to be perfectly imperfect.  It’s ok that I have a potty mouth, seriously….I love the F word.  It handles every single solitary emotion that I feel on an hourly basis lol  It’s ok that I am horribly unorganized, i’m a friggin hot mess ALL THE TIME.  I don’t know if I’m coming or going most of the time lol.  It’s ok that I am a horrible house wife who procrastinates cleaning for watching the Food Network instead (I get roped in by Chopped everyday at least 3 times a day!).  It’s ok that I love hockey and baseball, with a passion, I yell and swear (obviously, please refer up to the potty mouth part of this blog!) and scream at the players like they can hear me lol I drink too much beer when the game gets really amazing, and my husband laughs and leaves the room because he hates sports.  Sometimes he even kicks me out of the house when there is a particularly AMAZING GAME ON TV!!!!!! (IE.  ALDS GAME 5….GO JAYS GO!!!!).  I love to dance like no one is watching, even when everyone is watching…..I just loose myself in music and I feel like me….it’s one place I find my happy every time.  Music soothes my soul and speaks to me! It is also absolutely ok to not give one single solitary fuck about what anyone thinks about me.  I don’t know why this ruled my life for so long….I don’t know why I worried about people talking behind my back.  I don’t know why I cared so much about the opinions of others.  My opinion of me matters, and my husbands opinion matters.  I have 2 children who I need to teach this to….How can I raise these boys to be confident and independent and strong when I am none of those things?  How can I pretend to be someone I am not, while teaching them to “be themselves”?.  I can’t, and that is why it is ok that I am not PERFECT! It is OK that I have faults.  It’s ok that you do too.  Embrace your faults, embrace the good and the bad about yourself.  Learn from it, try to grow from it, but don’t you dare ever try and be someone you are NOT.  That is NOT OK!! That is what I learned from myself, it is ok to be ME.

This blog now serves as a place for me to be me and share all things about Finding my happy at the age of 34.  Mostly it’s turning into that because I really need to stop posting long winded, short stories as my Facebook status’ lol.  #SorryNotSorryFacebookWorld.  So enjoy and remember:  You are AWESOME just the way you are!  Embrace those faults and those attributes baby. xoxo