Love Warrior…

Holy shit…….I just spent a good portion of my day reading Love Warrior by Glennon Doyl Melton ( go buy it….seriously….you need to read it!! and then follow Glennon on Facebook!!!).  This woman’s raw, honesty and ability to make me feel every single bloody emotion all at the same time was incredible.  This book spoke to my heart and soul, and at times I felt I was reading my own thoughts right on the page.  I have never in my life highlighted a book as much as I highlighted this one.  Her story of the hardest parts of her life was just so emotional, and so real, I ate up every word of this woman’s wisdom.  She inspired me with her truth and her reallness (is that even a word!?? Lol).  I felt so much of her humanness as I devoured every page, and it helped me process so much of my life and my feelings and my own truths.  It left me feeling so full and so inspired I just had to get on my computer and write my heart out.

All of the growing and learning I’ve done over the last 7 months has been truly incredible, and it’s so fucked up to say, but I’m so grateful for the moment that forever changed me.  As I was reading Glennon’s words, I could just feel so much of myself in them…the lessons she learned, the pieces of herself that she found, they all relate so much to me.  I’ve grown in ways I never even thought possible.  I think one of the biggest things that I’ve learned so far, is to just be real, and be open and be honest.  Be myself, a truly imperfect human being, that fucks up every now and then, and can learn and laugh at my stupidity and then move forward.  I really am incredibly imperfect.  I fuck up daily, say stupid things, think ridiculous thoughts, feel crazy schizophrenic emotions, and then laugh at myself and tell myself to calm the heck down!!! Embrace your imperfections loves…..embrace them all!!!!

I think the other thing I learned in all of this is that its good to let go and take the steps forward.  What happened to me, to my marriage, is something that I really could have let make me a bitter, angry, hateful person.  I could have let it fill me with darkness and become someone I would never like, however I’ve decided that continuing to be myself is the most important thing in all of this.  I know that it has changed somethings about me that are less than ideal…I am a touch less trusting than I was before, I think I may hold back a little bit more with my thoughts and feelings at first with new people in my life just until I’m sure I know their true character. I think I worry more and wonder more what people are really thinking, feeling, and saying.  Somedays I am terrified about my future, and I’m scared to be alone, and I’m scared to be in a relationship again all at the same time….I’m scared I’ll get hurt again, and then I’m scared no one will ever love me again…..(I did say my thoughts and emotions were schizophrenic…I warned you all LOL).  See how these are all less than ideal, but at the end of the day when I lay my head down I know that my fears are pretty coo coo.  I know truly without a doubt that one day I am going to meet some one that is so incredibly perfect for me, and they will be the final piece in putting my crazy little heart back together.  It won’t be “Perfect”, it will just be MY version of perfect.  That person is going to know all about me, every quirk, every annoying little habit, every weird thing about me and love all of it.  There will be no changing who I am, or what I stand for because they will just love me. Knowing, in my heart, the truth of the matter doesn’t get rid of the fears, they still linger a bit, but it helps soothe them for sure.  The growing and the learning has helped to soothe those fears more than anything, because at the end of the day I’ve learned to love myself and that is what really matters.

Finding what makes you human and being real and raw about it heals you.  When you can be truly open about the scars you have and just say “Here I am.  Take me or leave me”, fuck that is empowering!  That is the true lesson I learned from reading this book….“Say what you mean, and mean what you say…” (Thank you Dr. Seuss!!), and then be ok with the truth.  Once you are ok with your truths, you can let them out for the world to read or see or hear.  It’s totally ok to expose your scars for everyone to look at, because we are all just human as fuck.  We can learn from each other, we can grow with each other, we can carry each other through the shit storms that we encounter, and we can skip along together under the rainbows after the storm.  We don’t need to pretend that life is all sunshine and lollipops all the time, because that’s bullshit and it’s fake.

Take me or leave me, either way I’m just going to keep being me, perfectly imperfect…human as fuck…raw…semi broken, semi fixed….cool as shit me!

I love ya all

xoxo

M

Meags 2.0…

Happy Day beautiful people!!!!!!  I’ve had this blog sitting on my heart for a few days now and a lazy, rainy, Sunday is a perfect day to finish it.

I’m laying in bed this morning being ever so lazy, because I have just completed an intense 7 day training course that tested my limits, and set my mind reeling with endless possibilities.  It was exactly what my body, mind and soul needed.  I needed to release all the bullshit of the past 7 months of my life. I needed to forgive, mostly myself, and I needed to heal.  Here’s something I learned…stuffing your shit into a duffel bag and throwing it to the back of a closet only works for so long before your shit starts to seep out of that bag.  Then you’re just covered in shit and have no idea how to clean yourself up.  The thing is, I found a way to clean my shit up, and for the first time in 7 months I feel like I can breath again.  It feels like the heaviest weight has been lifted from my heart.  It feels light, and bright, and full of love again.

I learned this week how to really connect with myself, to figure out who I am and what I want and need in life.  Most of all I learned what I DESERVE!  I moved away from just being “mom”, and “his” ex, and the “hairstylist”…..I found myself.  I found Meaghan, and let me tell you something….she is cool as fuck!!! Everything became so clear to me about my life, and my purpose this week.  One of my soul tribe babes said to me….”OMG you took yourself to the next level!!!!! Like Meags 2.0!”.  I died laughing, but she was so right!!!! I am the newest update to Meags 1.5…it took 7 days but the update was incredible, and now I feel whole again.  Like I belong in my body, and my heart is full and, and my soul is at peace.  It’s such a beautiful feeling… I have this overwhelming sense of freedom all of the sudden.  Like a bird set free.  There is no one on the face of this planet that can clip my wings now….( 😉 ).

So, can we all agree that living our life as our true, brilliant selves is exactly what every human being needs to do!!!??? We need to release the shit weight us down and just breath in the awesomeness that is this life!! If you’ve ever had a dream that you thought was way to outrageous to even consider, I wonder why??? When did you decide it’s too outrageous?  When did you decide you can’t do it?  When did you decide that you were beneath your dreams????  And when did you decide you weren’t worth an incredible life designed just by you!!!??  We are powerful and magnificent beings, that have every single thing we need within us, to live our purpose!!!!  It’s time for people to let go of their excuses, let go of their attitude, their limiting beliefs in themselves, their anger, and sadness and everything in between.  Get rid of the guilt….Why the fuck are you still feeling guilty about something that happened when you were 10 anyways!!??  This is all the shit weighing people down and keeping them stuck.  The course that I took not only cleared my pile of shit, it gave me all the tools necessary to be able to help other people in getting rid of theirs.  This new venture that I am embarking on is going to be ridiculous…my god it scares the shit outta me, but I am so incredibly excited.  I can’t wait to change the world for as many people as possible. (Note to all my beautiful hair clients: no the salon is NOT closing down! LOL)  It’s going to free so many people of the burdens they carry around with them everyday and it’s going to see me living in my true passion for helping others.

So the basis of this blog, even though it’s totally all over the place, is this:  LIVE, LOVE, and LAUGH my beauties…..and do all of these things with every single fibre of your being.  Do it with the strength you and I both know you hold in your heart and soul.  Go out and do what you love! No one has the power over you.  Not your thoughts, your actions, your emotions, NOTHING!  You have all of the power you need inside of you.  Maybe you don’t see it now, good lawddddddd, I didn’t see it for 18 whole years for crying out loud!!! Today I can tell you very emphatically, you have it in you…you have it all laying quietly inside of you just waiting to burst out, and if you can’t quite see it, hear it, feel it, taste it, smell it….let me know and we can find it together!

All my love beauties!

XOXO

M